Thursday, July 26, 2012

Being Selfish.

This week, the word 'selfishness' has flickered into my mind lately.
It happened after I read about it and the author had brought it up.

Being selfish.
I think we are all selfish. I think it comes naturally.
I don't think it ever goes away. Or is something that you can get rid of completely.
Because you see it in kids. I don't think any parent teaches their children to be selfish.
Instead, it reveals itself. It happens everyday at my home!
I've caught myself saying "Clari, please be kind and share your [belongings] with Celeste.
or "Celeste, you've had that [toy] for a while now... maybe Clari would like a turn now?"

And so... I think everyone gets taught that being selfish/looking out only for yourself is not right. So, our selfishness gets curbed. Hidden. It's still there. But we learn not to show it. 

And this is what I've been struggling with this week.
I've been silently trying to figure out how on earth I'm going to guide my own children into seeing what true selfishness is. And the many different forms it takes.

It's really not just about the action of not sharing.
I think it's easy to say "Share that with your sister".
Happens a thousand and one times. They automatically squabble. And those words automatically come out of my mouth!! Eeek!

It's the mindset.
And I struggle with this.
Because as an adult, even though I share my time, share my love around, I need to make sure that I'm not just doing it because I was trained to be that way when I was younger.
And if that sounds simple,
How on earth do I go about teaching and guiding my kids to love others out of the right motives... because they truly want to... not because someone told them that it's the right thing
to do?

Ahhh. Coffee comes in handy during times like this.

That's why I think that when people say that being a parent is hard, it's not so much about the mundane. Not so much about the sleepless nights at the start. The nappies. The chores. The meals. Etc.

For me, it's super hard because being a parent challenges you as a whole person.
It makes you confirm some of your existing beliefs, create new ones and realise that some beliefs that you had in the past might have just not been the right ones!
And it really develops your character and personality.
I am still learning about who I really am... and being a mum has really fuelled this.
I need to really challenge myself... question the essence about how and why I live and treat others the way that I do, make sure that they're solidly sound and teach myself up.... before I try to teach someone else, especially my own children.

There are countless of little ways to step forward and make the effort of loving others instead of yourself. But all this must be done after you really firmly believe that you'll be doing it because you truly and sincerely want to.

I think this is probably one of the more important ones for me. :)
Asking about others instead of talking about yourself.
Giving my friend the time to talk, asking about them and their day sincerely.
Even giving my husband the time to talk! Or my kids! And really listening to them.
Instead of talking about myself. I think everyone loves talking about themselves to a certain extent. Me included. And sometimes, I do agree and believe it is important to look after yourselves.
But sometimes, it really is a lovely treat to give that chance and time away and love and care about others.

Something to think about for ourselves today? :)

xx Germaine

Monday, July 16, 2012

A Celeste Kind of Weekend

This week was all about Celeste. 
Celebrations for us usually tend to involve lots of food. 
It doesn't help when the littlest member of the whole family loves to eat. 
We pigged out so much over the weekend. We cooked a huge batch of laksa for our little noodle and chilli lover and had not one, but two parties with friends and family!
We still have 3 cakes sitting in the fridge. 

Afternoon tea, anyone??!

Yes. My littlest turned two. 
No. We didn't name her after Queen Celeste. But yes, we do love Babar. 

Do you have a child who just seems so completely different from you? 
In an especially good way of course. 
Celeste is that child. 
Maybe even more so because my biggest is an exact replica of me. 
I know how my biggest thinks. I know what she would love. I know what she would hate. 
The similarities between us and the way we behave are amazing. 
The things she is afraid of are exactly the things I hated doing when I was her age. 
When I see that happening in her, I can feel what she feels. 
That's my biggest. 

Celeste. Number 2. 
I feel a little sad. Because she was a good as baby. I didn't get to experience her as much as I did as a baby. Because she slept through the night early. Because I didn't have to spend lots of time waking up at night to go to her like I did for my biggest. Because she didn't lie on the floor for long. She's a climber. She didn't even crawl for long before the steps happened! I feel sad!

Even up till this day, I think I have to best guess how she might react in a certain situation. 
She acts a lot like hubby. 
Her personality. Hubby. 
She sees the logical side. But she also sees the challenge. 
And she never fails to put me in my place!!! 
I still find it humbling when I think that someone so tiny can open my eyes and make me see things from a different perspective. From her perspective. 
It is different. It is good. It works too. Amazing! 

So to Celeste
If you're so special when you're two, I can't wait to see how you'll be like in the future. 
For now though, I'll lie in bed like how I've been doing for the past three nights, with my eyes closed and pinching myself hard to believe that you're...two. 
It's a little heartwrenching in a quiet way. 



Saturday, July 14, 2012


I've just looked through all the photos taken over the weekend. 
So much fun. So much memories created within our little family. So much happiness shared with our friends. So much food and cake. 
My Littlest turned 2 on Friday. 
I don't really want to believe it. 
 A huge part of me still wants her to stay exactly the way she is now... 

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Stationery. 'Nuff Said.

I think everyone has a love for stationery. 
It starts young. 
When you get your first set of colour pencils. Or something to that extent. 
When you open the box and there they are... sitting all sharp, nice and brilliant. Rainbows everywhere.

And then somewhere along the way. 
Someone gave you awesome stickers. And you immediately thought that that person was so freakin' amazing. 

So then. 
Who says it had to stop when you grew up? 

It's all about the little things. Everyone's said it before. 
But it's true. 
When someone has had a shitty week. Or you've been hit hard by the 1001th winter bug. 
When you feel that the house is a mess (all the time!) or the mess just seems to come back in an instant after you clean it.
It just takes a simple card. Or cake wrapped in baking paper. Tied with twine. Pretty Sticker on top. Handed to you by a friend who knows
And you think she is freakin' amazing. 

xx Germaine
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